Today I’m lost, yesterday I was lost too; and tomorrow, we’ll that’s not looking good either. Quite frankly, I don’t think I want to be found. Being found means I’m ok moving forward without you. But I’m not. I really missed you for Easter. Another holiday of many I’m going to spend without you. Although you had the most ultimate Easter, I still selfishly wish you were here.

I just want to go back to November 29 and all the days before that, to hold you, love you, and kiss you. To try and fix you and make you better. I just want to hold you again. I see your sweet face in photos and I break, every single time.

I can go days were I think I’m ok and but then I endure weeks where I’m frustrated and sad. I’m forced to move forward because time doesn’t stop. I’d do anything to be frozen in time with you.

If I could go back, I’d change it all. I’d work less and hold you more. I’d cry less when you were here and save it for when you’re gone. I’d sleep less and love on you more. I’d do it all different, if only I knew.

My compass keeps spinning, it doesn’t know where to send me or how to move me forward. I’m completely lost without you. I need your love and hugs. I hope you always know how much I love you. To the moon and back, forever!