Unless you’re in preschool, making friends after having children is tough. After you have children you have two types of friends, those who have children and those who don’t. You find yourself choosing your friends with children more often because they get you. They understand you and don’t get mad when you need to cancel plans because they woke up on the wrong side of the bed today; but you don’t even need an explanation because they get you. They’ve totally been there.

The same goes for parents of medically complex children, except sometimes there are more times you can’t than you can. Really, the only ones who understand you are those who are walking your path. When you get together no one asks questions or needs to ask what took so long. You develop this special language that doesn’t even require words anymore. A simple nod as your passing in the hall and your heart melts “they totally get me”.

Play dates aren’t planned, they are always spur of the moment and usually disorganized. Or only happen when you end up inpatient together in the hospital.

You don’t mean to shut out your other friends, and they still mean the world to you, but you develop a comfort level with mom’s who totally get you. Besides there aren’t many people who have spare feeding bags and mickey buttons lying around when you’ve forgotten to place your order. Thank you for being my flock!

In memory of Zane: 2012-2015

I had always been the honest, dependable, you can count on me type of person. I want to help people and I love a good challenge. If there’s a way I I’ll find it. I’m still like that, just a little broken; like an old washing machine that still cleans your clothes just fine as long as you kick it between cycles. I kind of feel like that, I run in cycles. Some cycles are good, some are bad, and some are just awful. But I still work. I’m still reliable, I’ll get the job done, but it may take a little longer. All my life I’ve been blessed. I’ve never felt broken, so I used that strength to bless others. To help those who were broken, or needed a minor repair. That was until I was broken.

I never expected to to be here; no one does. I’m blessed because I have my amazing husband, our two other children, I’m blessed to have been welcomed back to two different jobs when others are struggling to find one. I’m blessed to be able to continue to help others, but I’m still broken. My heart is broken, my faith is tested, and my journey is different. I’m still me, just a little broken.

                   Remembering Zane
    June 28, 2012 – November 29, 2015