Today I’m sad. I miss you. I wanted to write a post yesterday, but I was sad then too. I couldn’t bring myself to write. I didn’t know what to say. Except I miss you more and more each day.

Five months and one day ago there were sounds. Sounds of a ventilator, concentrator, pulse ox, suction machine, and still sounds of you breathing with the vent. Then, five months ago there wasn’t. It’s quiet. It’s hard because it’s quiet. Sometimes I still think I hear them. The beeping of the pulse ox means I need to check on you, but you’re not there. I may have forgotten for a brief second that you were gone. How could I have gotten so consumed in something that I forgot to think about you. I am sad.

Then, five months came. Five months and a day. Life keeps going, it doesn’t stop. Some days I wish it would because I need a little extra time to process all that’s went on. I remind myself to keep moving forward. I listen because I know you’re there with me every step of the way, silently coaxing me. My biggest supporter, I miss you much. See you again some day! Love you to the moon and back, forever!