I would give you a preview of grief, but I can’t. I can’t because it’s different every day. I will be a griever for the rest of my life. And that’s ok. That doesn’t mean I’ll be sad and miserable every day, but sometimes I will. 

Yesterday’s grief was ok, and last week, well that was ok too. But then today…. today I was sad, I yelled some, I cried a lot, I needed a friend, and I didn’t know why. I mean, I know why I missed my son, but today was a lot like yesterday, except my mood. There wasn’t a single trigger, just a different day. 

I’ll always have grief, every second of every day. But some grief will be happy and others will be sad or even be mad. Each day I miss him more and more, I long to feel his hugs and kisses, to play with his hair, and just hold him again. I’d take all the sleepless nights we’ve had and all the hospital stays again if it meant I’d have him back. 

I live my life to make you proud. You’re my super hero, my sweet pea, my little buddy always. I’ll think of you every second of every day. I love you to the moon and back, forever!